EMOTIONALLY-FOCUSED THERAPY (EFT) FOR COUPLES

“A person is a person through another person.” Archbishop Desmond Tutu

When we give our hearts to another in a committed relationship, we are not only investing our hopes and dreams in the other but we are also bringing our deepest relational wounds from our past into the present.   We can view the challenges that inevitably arise in relationships as either a problem or a possibility.   Seeing our challenges as potential for growth brings with it great rewards.   

With Emotionally-Focused Couple Therapy, you and your partner can begin to heal one another of the wounds you carry and to realize the potential you each have for the capacity to love deeply.   The journey through couple counseling can help you move beyond arguments and feel good about yourself and your relationship again.   You will discover how to communicate with your partner in order to get their attention, feel understood, and elicit compassion and caring.   Emotionally-Focused Couple Therapy can help defuse tension in your relationship as you begin to relax and respond tenderly towards each other.   My goal is to help you and your partner achieve an experiential shift from fighting and defensive positions to relating in ways that foster greater trust, warmth, safety, and openness, paving the way to attachment security.

The following articles help to explain Emotionally-Focused Therapy for Couples:

https://iceeft.com/what-is-eft-public/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/emotionally-focused-therapy
https://www.choosingtherapy.com/emotionally-focused-couples-therapy

As a neurodiversity-informed therapist, I specialize in working with neurodivergent (ADHD, autism, sensory processing differences, highly-sensitive, introversion) or mixed-neurotype couples. I am self-diagnosed autistic and have been married (for 18 years!) to my neurotypical spouse and together we are parents to a neurocomplex adolescent. Mixed-neurotype couples, due to differences in brain wiring, communicate and receive information in ways that may increase the potential for misunderstanding, misattunement, and making assumptions.

Couple therapy sessions are weekly 55 minute or 90 minute sessions mostly in-person, with some availability for telehealth. Couple therapy is contraindicated for couples where there is active untreated addiction, ongoing infidelity, or intimate partner (domestic) violence. Both partners need to enter with the same goal, wanting to work on the relationship.

Sample EFT Couple Therapy Schedule
The beginning of our work follows a 2:1:1:2 format:
Session 1: Couple Session to assess fit (55 min)
Sessions 2 + 3: Individual Sessions with each partner separately (90 min each)
Sessions 4 +: Couple Sessions (55 min or 90 min)